Assholes

You say you're religious.

I say you're just assholes.

Mid Autumn Festival, Singapore, 2013

Turns out after more than twenty years here, I'm still a tourist in this land. I'm still fascinated, so there's that.

Happy Mid Autumn, if you're celebrating this. Be good to yourself.

Loss

Earlier this week, my neighbour died - and I was right beside him.

We called him Pakcik.

It was about 8:20 in the morning when his step-daughter knocked on our door in panic telling us that Pakcik had collapsed and that she couldn't wake him. I rushed over with my brother following.

All I could see was Pakcik's side profile through his bedroom door left ajar. He was seated on the cold floor with his head down and his back against his bed, but his body was blocking the door. I shook him through that gap and shouted "Pakcik!" with all I had.


His heart wasn't beating.

I couldn't feel it.

He wasn't breathing.

I couldn't feel it.


I didn't know what to feel. I've never expected to feel nothing when my hand was upon a chest. I've never expected the absence of breath when I place my finger below nostrils. I sat beside Pakcik for what seemed like the longest time while we waited for the paramedics and police to come after my brother called for them.

The first paramedic arrived very quickly and forced the door open. We also very quickly found out that Pakcik had died by a chain around his neck that was tied to a corner bedpost when we tried to lift him up to try to administer CPR. The look on the paramedic's face...


"It's too late."
It was a split moment on his face, but it screamed that to me.


What followed was his family members, the police, and more paramedics arriving at the scene. They pronounced Pakcik's passing. We were interviewed. The works.

What I saw was the step-daughter - an unfortunate soul with low IQ - not knowing the gravity of the situation as she repeated the paramedics' words to her, to us "My papa passed away."

I saw my younger brother, the big athletic guy, the ace law student, the gifted son, sob his eyes out.

I saw Pakcik's other family members for the very first time.

I saw people downstairs going about their lives as usual because they don't know someone actually just died just a couple storeys above them.

I saw my mother in utter disbelief and fear and sadness.

I saw my father disappointed with the world. He was Pakcik's only friend in the day when his step-daughter worked from 9 to 11 every day. My father sought social services' help for Pakcik when Pakcik spoke depressively of life, of financial difficulties to support his ailing health, of loneliness especially after his wife died of heart attack only recently. He walked with Pakcik. Pakcik would call my father on his phone when he needed someone to buy him cigarettes or needed to talk.

Pakcik always sat outside his house on his chairs. I don't speak Malay, but I would greet him, and he always smiled back. He would smile and talk to my dog when it was at the door. He would give us food. He had trouble getting around but he spared no effort in treating us with kindness.

I'm sorry you had to leave this way, Pakcik. I only hope you are at peace now and that you are reunited with your dearly beloved.

Goodbye, Pakcik.


Tonight, I finally cried.

Lonely Lights

Once, someone said you needed to be in the darkest of dark in order to shine brightest.

And maybe you won't know, maybe you will, but at least one person in this universe will notice, acknowledge and appreciate you. Don't ever give up.

furusato // 故郷

Happy 48th National Day, Singapore. I had written a load of things about you, but I have much to be thankful for towards you as a migrant from Ipoh, Perak, Malaysia.

I'll leave the angry, sarcastic posts to the self-proclaimed Individuals of your community.

Be well, Singapore.

The Nail Artelier

Many moons ago, I had the pleasure of making friends with a bunch of quirky people in secondary school, and most of these have blossomed into lovely folk, each with their story to tell.

One of them is Jenrine (who ran Everyday I’m Polishin’ for the past 2 years), and she's just opened her own nail art salon (if I may call it that) with her friend and now business partner, Ying of Nail Art Express fame.

Words can hardly express the joy I have when I see the achievements and milestones achieved by those I regard dear in my life, and this is one of those moments. One moment you're assigned to be this.. peer leader to a bunch of naive junior students, the next it's a decade over and one of them's her own boss. I can only assume this is what being a proud parent feels like.

If I may, I'd just like to say it'd be wonderful too to also one day be boss of my own career and make someone else proud, but that's a tale I'm still charting and not one to explore further in this post.

Now, The Nail Artelier is the name of Ying and Jenrine's establishment. They're qualified professionals in their craft certified by The Pink Room International Nail Academy (only Singapore's premier nail school) so you know you're with the best.

The Nail Artelier is located at 48 Haji Lane - arguably Singapore's hippest row of shophouses amongst the young and trendy. You can find more information and book your appointment with them at http://thenailartelier.wordpress.com/. They're on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/TheNailArtelier. And of course you can also find them on Instagram at @thenailartelier. Don't forget to hashtag your wonderful nails done by these lovely artists with #thenailartelier.

All that aside, I of course have some photographs of their opening day.