Let me put this out there and set the record straight - I love nature. I really dig (geddit geddit?) geting out there with grass, plants and flowers. Granted I meet a lot of people I would label as vegetables, none of them smell as good.
During my days in the Singapore National Service conscript, I used to whine a lot whenever there were outfield training sessions because whining together made me a lot more friends. Unbeknownst to everyone, I really quite enjoyed myself sleeping on grass, sand and dirt. There are actual places in the wilds of Singapore where you can wake up to freezing temperatures beside a pond, see dew on leaves and play with visible, "steam breaths" coming from your mouth. It's too bad these areas are cordoned off for military usage.
Personally, I get my own joy seeing rows of potted plants right outside my apartment. Got a couple of our own that my father takes care of, and a lot more from my neighbours, which my father also takes care of lovingly (the plants; not my neighbours).
Wait a minute, don't we call Singapore the Garden City? Don't most also recognise it as a shopping haven? Then where would you go to experience a bit of nature right in the middle of a shopping district?
The Singapore Botanic Gardens. Now let's begin with some pretentious photographs of flowers with ridiculous-looking bokeh.
I swear when I captured this it was as red as red could be red. So was the mosquito bite on my knee.
Flower, flower grow for me,
Become a flower from a seed,
Grow your roots and a stem,
Let the water come right in
Flower, flower you are true,
You make me happy when I am blue,
You became a flower from a seed,
You did all that just for me
- Olivia Taylor, Flower
Because nothing makes a less-than-stellar photograph more interesting than with a poem or a prose.
At first I'd thought this was a rambutan and I jumped in excitement! Like this! Then I realised I was stupid because jumping would scare the rambutan off. So I stayed very still.
I call this "Rose Amongst the Thorns Even Though It's Clearly Not A Rose and There Are.. No Thorns".
BANZAI!!! is what the Japanese exclaim to "express enthusiam, celebrate a victory, applause" or just be happy about an occasion. They usually shout the term 3 times repeatedly with both arms in the air, like they just don't care.
Unfortunately, this photo is of a bonsai plant. It is also Japanese, but cannot shout, and it certainly doesn't have arms because that would be creepy.
Now this - this is when my quarter-hour of excitement began. I spotted this.. bird-thing I cannot yet name wandering. Gonna need Ivan Kwan's help with this. Ivan's my favourite nature-lover in Singapore, so do read his blog at
http://lazy-lizard-tales.blogspot.com/ and follow him on Twitter at
https://twitter.com/#!/varanussalvator or at
https://twitter.com/#!/hai_ren.
The bird-thing (I'm gonna call it Brad from now on) carried on looking for the next 20 minutes. I followed Brad as stealthily as I could. You have no idea how many visitors crossing my path I told to keep it down as I stalked Brad. BUT OF COURSE I WAS POLITE. BECAUSE BRAD.
AND THEN. BRAD. FREAKING JUMPED. What you see here now is Brad on top of bushes that were taller than I was. I had to elevate and balance myself on metal railings just to grab this shot of Brad. Brad is an asshole.
Then I saw THIS! <3 This was what Brad was chasing this whole time!
My first thought was, "OH MAN A SQUIRREL! SQUUEEEEEEEE!". Then I thought, 'Wait squirrels like nuts right? Oh gawd please don't make a joke about my nutsack now, scumbag brain. SCUMBAG BRAIN!"
SQUIRREL LEAPT! And I caught it hitting its face on a branch. Sorry, Squirrel.
Unfortunately Brad and Squirrel ran off and disappeared into the bushes and up atop the trees above me (seriously) so now we've to head back to our normal transmission of pretentious-looking, hipster plant photographs.
Remember Lord of the Rings where they spoke of venturing into the valley of death or something? This is not even close.
This is the Vanda Miss Joaquim, aka the Singapore Orchid. This was chosen as Singapore's national flower since 1981. It is purple and so are the eyeliners of our Singapore Airline Stewardesses.
If you've ever played the Zelda games, you'll know Triforce and what I mean.
THIS dragon CAN fly.
Next time you find yourself a reason/excuse to go to the Singapore Botanic Gardens, just enjoy it for what it has to offer. The iPad can wait. Seriously, yo.
Also, if you'd like to know how to get to the Singapore Botanic Gardens, try this link:
http://www.sbg.org.sg/visitorinfo/openinghours.asp. Just a tip, it's easier to get to Tanglin Mall and walk to it. The MRT Station labelled "Botanic Gardens" is a troll station. It connects to the OTHER far end of the park and it would take you 3,258 years to walk to the main portion, unless you like that sort of thing.
By the way, next time you meet a cab driver like this, call for help and make sure you have insurance.
Be well.
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